im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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