I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
