He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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