Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
