I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
