We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
