I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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