I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
