Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
