i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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