Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
