i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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