i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
