i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
