He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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