I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
