haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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