Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
