wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
