i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
