Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
