apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
