do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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