I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
