Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
