My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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