we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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