Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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