I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
foreskin is a definite game changer
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
