New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
