I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
