They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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