U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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