This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
