after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
