I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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