Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
