That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I got inside last night via doggy door
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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