dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
