Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
