He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize