so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
