totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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