its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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