I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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