That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
