weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
