Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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