It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
