I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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