He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
