Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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