Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
