How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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